It Happened Last MeetingBy LeeAnne Chenoweth Lawson
Hello Rotarians!
Randy Hendricks called our meeting to order, and congratulated our fellow Rotarian, Tom Ware, for winning his seat on the Arlington City Council, District 4. Randy then reminded us of a few things; we need a new director of Youth Services, as Molly Kulpa must resign, we need people to sign up for greeter and pledge leader, plus we need to be sure to log in our volunteer hours. Also, be sure and help Rotary visibility by making posts about us on social media, or reposting others’ posts. Semi-annual dues are due, and please keep inviting new people you think might want to join Rotary.
After the prayer and pledge, we sang God Bless America!
Announcements: Jason Kazarian reminded us to sign up in the Hubcap, for donating blood on Tuesday May 19, 11 – 5. Donation eligibility criteria have changed, so you may now be eligible even if you weren’t in the past. Jason also would like for those who take photos at our meetings to send them to him. jpkazarian@yahoo.com.
Blue badge: New member Cecilio Bustamante was awarded his blue badge today by Tommy Thompson.
Birthdays this month: May 2 Brett Hall, May 4 Cecilio Bustamante, May 5 Joy Nunn,
May 7 Diego Pen, May 8 Laurie Bianco, May 9, Andy Macfarlane.
We sang Happy Birthday, and then Don Mebus led us in singing “Sing Out A Song of Rotary!”
Anniversaries: Ify Uzomah, May 2, 2019, 7 years. Jill Regina, May 5, 2016, 10 years.
Our speakers today: Caroline Chiaia, owner of Buttermilk Sky Pie Shop (NE corner of Collins and I30) and Suzy Yowell, director of community partnership with CASA. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates, and this would be for children. Caroline spoke about rebuilding her life after having experienced extreme trauma in her childhood.
Her strength is to be admired, and she realizes that sharing her story, and letting people know how prevalent abuse is, will move more people to become volunteers with CASA, or help in other ways. There is great need, as there are 800 child abuse cases in Tarrant County right now, but only 461 have advocates.
Who are CASA volunteer advocates? These receive training, and spend 5 to 8 hours with a child, on average. Advocates can help a child while still working a full-time job. Perhaps the time you spend with the child could be at lunchtime at their school, or at a ballgame, or other time. You would be there to listen and hear how they are doing, hear their story, and report to the judge. The meeting with the judge is usually only 15 minutes and is virtual, so there is no time spent traveling to the courthouse. What is the purpose of hearing from the child? The judge needs to see the whole picture, and if not hearing from the child, will make decisions based on comments from family, teachers and doctors, but the child’s story is most important. You are the child’s voice.
Judges must decide if an abused child should go to other family members, foster care, or if can be put up for adoption. 40% of kids who “age out of the system” will be in jail by age 20. Being heard is particularly important and empowering for children.
Caroline’s story was difficult to hear, but we must be educated and realize that one in 10 of all children, both boys and girls, experience abuse. Caroline’s mother was bipolar and bordered on schizophrenia. She used drugs and left her children. Caroline’s dad received custody but abused her and her brother. At age five, her abuse included beatings, sexual abuse and psychological abuse. Even a neighbor passed her around for more sexual abuse. Her dad would give her a choice between beatings or “the other thing” (sex) and she was afraid and would say the “other.” She had a urinary tract infection at age seven. Questions from CPS (Child Protective Services) made the dad move them all away. They moved to Texas from California.
When Caroline was 13, not understanding what a normal parental relationship was like, a friend who complained to her about getting spanked was the reason she woke up about how she was truly abused and how wrong it was. Caroline had asked her friend if she ever chose “the other thing,” and her friend responded with extreme disgust and said no, her dad loved her and would never do that!
Caroline was waking up. Eventually the sex stopped, but the beatings continued. She suffered terrible psychological abuse, and was dehumanized. She was in a runaway shelter in Dallas, when it was arranged for her to live in New York with her grandparents. Sadly, the grandparents were incredibly old-fashioned and expected her to act normally, not to mention her abuse. Caroline needed therapy and counseling! The grandparents wanted to avoid the subject. Eventually, grandma actually told Caroline that she was the only mistake God ever made. I cannot fathom hearing such a hurtful thing!
Later in her teens, she returned to living with her dad, as he apologized and she had no place else. He said he was in a relationship. There was no physical abuse, but there was the abuse of neglect. She also turned to drugs. She lived in despair, and moved out of her senior year in high school. More distant relatives didn’t want to help her as they were afraid she would abuse their kids sexually.
Caroline found comfort in art and baking. She got a job at a Walmart bakery. She would often accept rides from strangers, as she walked five miles to work. At age 21 she was kidnapped by a man who picked her up for a ride to work. He passed the exit and then told her he was going to rape her, and he had a knife. She also had a knife and told him, and talked with boldness and strength, determined to fight back and to not be a victim. She was able to get out of the car when he slowed for a turn, near Costco. She ran into Costco crying, telling workers what happened, and got help.
Caroline, like most abused children, had to receive counseling to learn the abuse was not her fault, noting that no child that young even understands what sex is. She also needed to learn to understand how the abuse of her past makes her react to different life situations. Praise God that Caroline eventually received the help she needed, and is part of a community of supportive people now.
CASA advocates spend five to seven hours serving a child who needs help. If a child’s case lasts as long as 16 months, you might make one visit per month to the child. Removal is the most traumatic experience of a child’s life, as they know nothing different. They know how to survive an abusive home but don’t know what to expect when removed and it is terrifying.
Support Buttermilk Sky Pie Shop as Caroline gives a percentage to CASA on occasion. She wants to continue telling her story as it makes good things happen. Be a volunteer with CASA: sign up to receive an information session at the website: www.speakupforachild.org.
A book was presented to Webb Elementary in honor of our speakers.
Quote of the week: “Advocacy succeeds through two things: consistency and tenacity. You have to be patient and keep working.” – Hajiya Bilkisu Yusuf, Journalist, 2010
Kris Landrith gave us the last laugh.
Randy led us in the four-way test and we were dismissed.
REMEMBER next meeting we are at J. Gilligan’s! Speaker: Bob Hopkins: Philanthropist, Educator and Author.
Special Meeting Location This Week:
